I don't get it

I don't get it every time I turn around to pursue and make things right in my life I always seem to get smacked down in some way.  I just really dont know what to do I mean I have a certain plan I want to go to school and get better income and a house but that's going to have to come with time.  Other thing is I have always wanted a family and a girl to come home to ever since i was about 16 which is sad because of how young that is.  But here I am with an amazing girl who has two kids you think that would be the thing to make me a little on edge or worrisome but it doesn't i love these kids they are awesome.  The issue is the baby daddy of one of the kids stepping in to try again and again sigh it feels like a battle I cannot win  I don't wanna give up because I know where I stand I'm the only guy besides him she actually started planning a future with and she's put her foot down about her just dropping me for him because I'm not just the place holder.  But every day things seem to be pushing me out of the equation sigh it feels like its just going to be another situation I put effort into and failed. Sorry needed to rant its been eating me up and ripping my dreams apart.

Well this blog is gonna get a little revamped

I'm gonna start posting my fishing/hunting exploits in this blog as well so I'm gonna be changing the title and such.  I'm gonna be posting pictures and local fishing tips so please by all means post your tips as well I love hearing from other fisherman!  My next post will probably contain everything over the past year.  This post will happen in a few days.  Keep an eye out and keep on smiling!

Getting damn tired!

Hey everyone I know its been awhile since the last time I posted but I've got stuff on my chest that needs to fly.  Sigh so probably the last time you heard from me I got a new gf and a new job.  Well once again something decided to slap me in the damn face I lost my job...Now my world that I have built is beginning to crash down again.  I'm within about 2 weeks of losing my apartment unless I find a new job, My car is fucked, I'm broke, and in debt.  God dammit I hate how this fucking economy is so fucked right now and its so hard to find a good job or get your foot into a career.  I mean hell I apply to about 25-50 places online on a daily bases then about every other day go put in applications.  Still nothing...  OH! and I hate how when your a walk in and you have to fill out a paper application you have to refill everything you could have had answered with a resume I mean hell besides careers resumes seem to be more pointless then anything else.  Also on top of that you could have years of experience in something and just fail the little or huge true/false Highly Agree/Highly Disagree questionnaires and we are sorry you don't fit our qualifications.  When we all know if we answer those damn things truthfully we all know we'd all fail it.  Companies nowadays are full of shit requiring more effort on our parts to make it "easier" on them to keep track of applicants and eliminate unqualified applicants.  I wish I could just walk into a place fill out the first few lines on their paper application then staple my resume to it and if testing is needed let it be damn knowledge testing not this stupid opinionated shit.  I want a career I want something that I don't mind going in daily to pay the bills.  Hell I'm not asking for something I enjoy either but sweet jesus it shouldn't be this hard.

I don't wanna lose my home...and I don't wanna feel like a piece of useless shit anymore.... Wish me luck...

You spin me right round baby right round

Well what can I say over the past few months a few surprising turns in my life have made me think my life is written by M. Night Shyamalan lol.  Lets see the one girl I was pursuing disappointed me, the one I thought of dating I hurt horribly (which I'm not proud of at all), So I ended up with the one I least expected.  She's A gorgeous one and I love her to death she makes me happy more then anyone has attempted to.  Hell I can't help but smile when I look at her.  I plan on making this one last for as long as humanly possible but at the same time never know what might happen.  As for my job yes it seemed very prosperous but its come to be kinda costly.  My travel is doing a horrible number on my car and gas prices are driving me into debt.  So having a hard time getting to work or having times I can't make it due to lack of gas means 10hrs a day I'm missing from my paycheck which is a damn pretty penny to me.  *Sigh* hope things get better but I'm still pushing on and trying.  Wish you all the best and hope money problems for yall are no where as bad as mine lol.

Well now interesting turn of events

So after my horrible rampage dealing with the tugging heart strings in my chest things went a complete random direction.  I'm no longer single and its not with the person I was pining over she was completely random social interaction that exploded into a completely awesome relationship.  It's really odd but quite nice whats been going on things are moving a little fast for more then everyone's taste but at the same time its surprising how well somethings like this work out.  I guess that's a proper tie into a conversation a friend and I were having about the chaos theory A.e. "Butterfly Effect" the several different versions of the repercussions of single choices or events that cause a ripple effect in your life or the world.  I've made a choice that few would, in this event a ripple effect has occurred.  I began dating my dear less then a month ago already due to being around me she has grown the balls to stand up to her alcoholic mother, move in with me, and start pursuing an actual life with me.  Yes that's something truly soon to hear but this one seems right...slap me later if I'm wrong lmao...I hope I'm not.

Things are looking alright

Well its been about a week or so since my last post heres the update!  I've got a job the entire things gonna be pretty cool and an opening to a new career, my love life has taken a slightly odd turn I've got a possible dating interest, my health is alright but still about the same lungs giving me issues.  Besides all that everything seems to be looking up for the most part Wish me luck! I start tomorrow and gotta be up at 4am sweet jesus!

Scary thing called Irony/coincidence

I'm starting to realize something slightly scary.  A friend of mine is almost exactly like me in almost every way dreams, hopes, likes, loves, imagination, astrological, auras, family, and medical roots.  Its scary because I thought I was a complete rarity it just makes me see how small the world really is.  Also what I might be missing out on.  I wish I had met her a long time ago before we went our separate ways.  Somehow I know our paths will merge as they should at one time or another but my impatience is annoying lol I want to make things happen but I know I can't I must be patient, I must be gentle to this situation.